The Big Question
by Alphie
Summary: Clark asks Lois a big question. Set in the Being Jason White AU. Takes place directly following After All. Written for the 12days challenge.


Author's Notes: For the first ever 12days challenge, I wrote this long, four part fic called "After All" which detailed how Lois and Clark got together in the Being Jason White AU. Part four of the fic ended like this:

"Last night… you said you lost me once. I'm telling you now that you never lost me. I was always yours."

I rose up slightly to look into his handsome face. There was so much that still needed to be said. So many things still to work out. But for now, all that mattered was that he was here with me – in my arms – and he loved me.

He kissed me one last time before I fell into a peaceful slumber. "And I always will be."

_AN: I intend to add more to this story line in the future. After all, in my mind, shortly after this moment, the phone rings and it's…Jason. Is anyone else curious to know what Jason said when he found out his parents – his REAL parents – were sleeping together? Hehehe…._

The time has come to continue the story. If you've never read my other work, what you need to know is that Jason is about 27 years old now, married, with a son of his own. Lois married Richard, who died when Jason was 25. Clark told Lois the full truth about his identity around the time Jason was married, and she spent several years being very angry and distant from Clark. In "After All", she confessed to Clark that she loved him and always had.

Many thanks to htbthomas, hellish red devil, and vanel (even though I had to MASSIVLY edit the thing for him to read it since he doesn't do romance!) for the beta reads.

**The Big Question**

Lois was asleep in my arms. Lois Lane – the woman I have loved and dreamed of for the majority of my life - was lying naked against me as she slept. Her body was draped over mine, our legs tangled together. Her hair, messy and wild, flared out over her shoulders and down her back. One arm was bent so that her hand could rest on my bare chest. The position created a small pocket of space where one breast was ever so slightly exposed. I gently ran my hand up and down her side, enjoying the feel of the soft skin there, enjoying the sensation of having her pressed so intimately against me.

I'd never really been able to take naps during the day once the sun was up, but nothing short of a cataclysmic catastrophe was going to pull me from the bed any time soon. Lois, on the other hand, had been asleep now for almost an hour. Her breath was as steady as her heartbeat, which lulled me into my own private dream-like trance. There, in my imagination, I saw all my hopes and dreams played out like never before. Things that I had once wanted but considered impossible were now suddenly attainable. And I wanted them all.

The question was, would Lois want the same things I wanted? I _hoped_ so, but I could never quite tell with Lois. She had said that she never wanted me to leave her. She'd asked me to stay. She'd said that she loved me. When I'd asked her what she wanted for Christmas, she'd said that she just wanted me. If I could have my Christmas wish, it would be for her to be mine. For us to belong to each other. It was more than a Christmas wish – it was the greatest single desire of my heart and had been for so many years. But Lois hadn't mentioned anything about the future – about forever. My mind wouldn't let that thought go.

The nagging sensation that I had to ask her – and ask her _now _– was overwhelming. I should have asked her years ago. I should have made my intentions clear, yet I'd missed the chance and messed things up in the most abominable way. I couldn't make the same mistake twice. No matter how unromantic the moment, it had to be done. I didn't have a ring or roses or champagne, but that didn't matter. I wasn't going to slip away from this moment and risk her waking up without me again, so darting off to gather up the common supplies for a moment like this was out of the question. If I'd planned better I would have gathered those things while I was out getting her Christmas decorations. But again, I missed the chance.

I skimmed my hand up and down her side again, stopping briefly at her breast for a moment. Her skin was so soft, especially the tender skin of her breasts. It delighted me that I could feel her nipples harden from my caress. Her heart rate fluttered slightly. Even her breathing changed enough for me to know that she was no longer asleep.

She purred against my chest, kissing my shoulder and pressing herself more snugly against my side. The small wiggle of her hips sent a surge of desire straight though my body, causing me to instinctively adjust my own hips to intimately cradle her feminine curves. Her eyes fluttered open just enough to pierce me with that deep chocolate brown color before her lips made their way to meet mine.

The kiss was slow and gentle. Just lips pressing and re-pressing against each other in a loving rhythm. We kissed, and kissed, and kissed some more, never moving anything but our mouths as they repeatedly found each other. The motion was delicate and pure. I could kiss her forever like this, but I also wanted more. I'd spent so many years wanting to kiss her that I intended to relish each and every kiss I could steal from her from now on. I had a lifetime of kissing to catch up on, and if I had my way, I'd spend the rest of my life making up for lost time.

I slowly slid my tongue along her bottom lip, tracing the way it curved. She hummed in pleasure and brushed her lips delicately over mine. Our tongues touched each other lightly, our lips meeting in feathery strokes, as we savored the anticipation of the moment.

Her breath was warm, and her mouth was wet. I could still taste the lingering flavor of the croissants and coffee from earlier. I closed my mouth over hers and tasted her fully, sliding my tongue inside her mouth and kissing her with all the love I felt. She didn't hold back and kissed me just as fervently and with as much ardor. Our mouths fused together over and over again, building up the passion and the desire we each felt until our hearts were racing.

It was too much. All of it. I had to tell her now or I'd never forgive myself. I hadn't meant to let things escalate to this point again without telling her exactly what I wanted. We'd reached this point several times last night and again this morning, and I'd meant to tell her then. It should have been the first thing I said to her this morning. I should have said it last night. I very nearly asked her a little over an hour ago when she asked me for her Christmas present. I couldn't go any further without saying it now.

With one last kiss, I took her face in my hands and pushed her away from me. We were now lying side by side, having rolled over a bit in the passionate moment. She smiled back at me with lips swollen from being loved, her eyes bright and her cheeks slightly flushed. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my entire life. I had to ask her. I couldn't hold it inside for another moment.

"Marry me."

What was meant as a loving request sounded more like a desperate demand. I hadn't meant to say it like that, but it just burst out of me.

She blinked back at me in surprise. "What?"

I took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly. "Will you marry me?"

With one eyebrow cocked, she tilted her head in that way that I knew meant trouble. "Clark—"

But I stopped her. I figured if I met her complaints before she had a chance to even mutter them that she would better understand my reasoning. Propping myself up on one elbow, I started explaining as best as I could without having actually planned it all out.

"Look, I know that you are going to tell me I'm old-fashioned and conservative and backwards and even more than a little hypocritical, but Lois, I can't do this like this. This isn't who I thought I'd be. This wasn't my plan for my life." I wet my lips, trying to ignore the frown that had formed on her face, and continued. "I was raised to believe that when two people loved each other and wanted an intimate relationship that they should be married. I know – I_ know_ that you think that's old-fashioned, but that's how I was raised. Even my Kryptonian heritage taught me the same thing. I know I'm sounding like a hypocrite given our history, but Lois, I want you to know that when we made love the first time…" I paused, looking deeply into her eyes. "When I made love to you that night, it was like we were married. I honestly intended to marry you once we got back to Metropolis. I don't know if that was what you had planned, but for me, I had every intention of being with you forever. To me, in that moment, you became mine. You were my wife. I was your husband."

The expression on her face softened somewhat, which I took as a good sign. She pursed her lips, but before she could talk, I forged on, rambling my way through my thoughts as coherently as I could manage.

"One of the reasons why I left was because it was too painful to be near you and not love you. I stupidly thought I'd be able to handle it, but I couldn't. You went out on a date just a few days afterwards. For me, it was like watching my wife walk away from me. I know that I have no right to say that, and you can get angry at me for feeling that way, but that's how I felt. And you have no idea…" The words got caught in my throat, for I genuinely was fearful of how she would respond to this, but I had to tell her. I'd promised her no more secrets, and I meant it. "When I found out about Jason…" I shook my head. "That wasn't what was supposed to happen. That isn't who I wanted to be. I – I have only ever tried to do what was right. I know we all make mistakes, but this…" I swallowed hard, unable to look her in the eyes. "I'm the guy who made love to a woman I said I truly loved and then left her…when she was pregnant."

"Clark—"

"No, Lois, please let me finish. This isn't who I set out to be. When I thought of all the good I could do, nowhere was in it in my plans to hurt you or Jason like that. I don't regret being with you. I don't regret a moment of the time we spent together, nor would I change anything about it, because I am so thankful for Jason. What I do regret is that I didn't marry you. That I didn't at least ask. That you didn't know that was what I wanted."

I traced my fingers over her beautiful face. "I love you. I loved you then, and I love you now. I wanted to marry you then, and I want to marry you now more than ever. And I'm not asking this because of Jason. I would be asking you this regardless of the fact that we have a son together. I want you to marry me. I want you to be my wife. Please, Lois. Please marry me."

My heart hammered away in my chest as I waited for her answer. She blinked slowly once, and then twice, and then offered me a sly little smile.

"Yes."

I jerked upon hearing the word. "Yes?"

"Yes," she repeated.

I looked into her eyes and waited for the rest of it. There had to be a catch. Nothing with Lois was this easy. But all I got in return was a broad grin. "You're not going to argue with me about this?" I said after a moment.

"Nope," she said, shaking her head. "In fact, you could have just stopped after the whole 'Will you marry me?' line. My answer still would have been yes. I know you're old-fashioned and conservative. That's part of what I love about you. And to even assume you are asking me because of Jason is ridiculous."

"It is?"

"Yes, because you and I both know that he's going to go ballistic when we tell him we're getting married."

I could only gape at her. "So… you're saying yes? Really? You'll marry me?"

She chuckled, "Yes, Clark. I will marry you."

I couldn't contain my joy for another moment. I pulled her against me and kissed her – hard. I rolled over her, pressing kisses into her hair, on her neck, over her face. My arms wrapped around her tightly as I fitted my body so perfectly against hers, leaving no room for her to doubt my desire for her.

To my surprise, a laugh spilled out of me. A joyous laugh – one that had been held in check for so many long, frustrated years. The elation brought on from one simple word was astounding, and I reveled in it.

"Say it again," I begged.

"Yes," she said, and then emphasized each word with a kiss. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"

"You hear that!" I called out to the world. "She said yes!"

"You silly man," she said, slapping at me.

Now we were both laughing in giddy pleasure. I rolled her on top of me and rained kisses over every bit of her that my lips could find. Muttered words of love and happiness mingled with sighs of pleasure as our passion mounted. My laughter stopped when Lois moved her hips in a circle against mine. I was aching for her, needing her so desperately that it left me speechless. I cupped her bottom and held her securely in place as my hips moved beneath hers. Our mouths fused together, our heartbeats synchronized as our bodies begged for relief from the building pressure.

"Für Elise" suddenly blared from the side table, making Lois gasp and bolt upright.

"What is it?" I asked, confused.

"Jason!"

"Where?"

"No," she rolled her eyes. "That's Jason's ring."

I swallowed and turned my face to the side to look at the cell phone sitting on the table. The melody continued in a seemingly never-ending cycle. To my surprise, Lois reached for the

phone.

Quickly, I grabbed her hand. "What are you doing?"

"I have to answer it."

"No, you don't."

"If I don't answer it, he'll wonder where I am and just call back. Or he might come over here himself to see if I'm all right."

I groaned. That was not something that I wanted to happen right now. "What will you say?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly, picking up the phone. "It depends on what he wants."

With a flick of her hair and the press of a button, she said, "Hi, Jason."

"Hi, Mom," Jason's voice sounded over the phone. "Did I wake you up?"

Lois pursed her lips and shook her head. "No. I've been up for a while."

"Really? On a Saturday?"

Lois looked down at me, knowing that she needed to think of something good to cover that. Jason knew, as did anyone who knew her, that Lois liked to sleep in on Saturdays. "Oh, I've been awake, but I've just been… lying in bed. I haven't really gotten up yet. But I've been awake. You know what I mean. What exactly do you need, honey?"

Jason hesitated. "Well, Kate and I have been thinking about Christmas."

"What about it?"

"Okay… please hear me out before you get mad at me, but… we're worried about you and Clark… for Eric's sake, really." Lois' eyes met mine once more as Jason continued his unnecessary ramble. "See, he is old enough to recognize that you and Clark aren't exactly on the best of terms, and I'm just worried that it will put a damper on Christmas Day having you both over here. We don't want anything to ruin his fun that day."

Lois frowned. "Jason, we wouldn't do anything that would upset him."

"But you don't know that," Jason countered. "Eric might pick up on it even if you are just being your usual distant and cold self towards Clark. Or if you two get into an argument or something like that."

"Honey, we wouldn't. We won't," Lois promised.

"But you can't be sure. So, to help kind of ease into things, we'd like to have you both over for brunch tomorrow as a sort of practice run for Christmas Day. That way you two can work out any difficulties now that might arise from spending a long time together, so that we all can better know what to expect on Christmas."

Lois gaped at me. I shrugged in wordless reply.

"Jason, really, that isn't necessary."

"Mom, please."

"I will come to brunch, but I think you should know that a Clark and I…" Now it was my turn to gape at Lois. I shook my head and mouthed the word "no" a few times at her, not wanting her to tell him exactly what was going on, but at the same time, I didn't want her to lie either. She made a face and pressed forward, "…are on much better terms than you think. We can be very um… civil to each other."

I rolled my eyes in utter disbelief.

"Even still," Jason said, "I'd like you both to come over. I just wanted to give you the heads up that I'll be inviting Clark, too."

"All right. What time?"

"About ten o'clock."

"Need me to bring anything?"

"No, just come with a good attitude. Okay?"

She snorted. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Well, I know very well how you and Clark get along."

"Not as well as you think," she added. Before I could stop myself, I swatted at her for saying such a thing. Lois chuckled at me in return.

"Mom? You okay?"

Lois gave me a hard stare. "I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

Once the phone was safely closed I groaned in protest. "Great. Just great."

"It's not that bad, Clark."

Chuckling sarcastically I said, "No, it's worse than I thought."

"What?" she shrugged.

I gave her a very pointed look. " 'Clark and I can be very civil to each other'? Are you kidding me, Lois?"

"Well, we _can_ be."

Again I groaned. 

"What would you have rather I said? 'Oh, Jason, Clark and I get on perfectly! We got on really well several times last night and even a few times this morning!'"

"Lois!"

"Or would you rather I just passed the phone to you. Here, Jason, talk to your father for a second while I slip out of bed and go get dressed."

"I didn't want you to say anything!" I snapped, knowing it would only cause her to snap right back but doing so anyway.

"Well, excuse me! I wasn't aware that we were going to keep this a secret from our son." She rolled off of me, obviously incensed.

"It isn't about keeping this a secret, Lois," I stated, sitting up next to her. "It's about lying to Jason. He hates it when I lie to him, and I promised him I wouldn't do that anymore."

"You didn't lie to him," she pointed out. "I did."

"He doesn't like that either."

At that very moment, another phone sounded from the other side of the room. Both Lois and I froze as our eyes fell on my own pile of clothes.

"That's your phone," Lois said.

"I know," I answered with a sigh.

"It's probably Jason."

"I know," I repeated with little enthusiasm. "Damn it," I muttered under my breath, slipping out of the bed and sliding into my jeans. If I was going to talk to him, then I had to at least have pants on. I looked over my shoulder at Lois, who looked back at me in surprise. "What?"

"I don't think I've ever heard you swear before."

"I swear… when there just isn't anything else to say. And can you put something on, please."

"Why?"

"Because… I can't talk to him… while you're naked."

She chuckled before quickly pulling a poor excuse for a shirt on over her head, slipping into her panties, and climbing back under the covers. After a few steadying breathes, I gathered up all the nerves I could muster and answered the phone. "Good morning, Jason," I said as cheerfully as I could, trying to cover up for the impending doom I suddenly felt.

"Hi," he slurred. "You're awfully cheerful this morning."

"Am I?" I feigned surprise.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Nothing. Nothing's up. Nothing at all."

From the other side of the room, Lois muttered, "Not _now_. Things were up earlier."

My eyes went wide as I glared at her.

"Who is that?" Jason asked.

"It's… em…" I really didn't want to lie. There had to be something I could say that wouldn't end up being a lie later on. If I told him the truth now he wouldn't believe me, but later on it would be a real disappointment to him to know that I had lied once again. So, in what was not a well-thought out plan, I opted to just tell the truth. "Oh, you know, that was just my half-naked girlfriend making offhanded comments from the other side of the room."

"Ha," he said sarcastically. Lois, on the other hand, had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

"What did you need, Jason?" I asked, forcing the change in subject.

"I just wondered if you might want to come over for brunch tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure."

"With Mom," he added.

I hesitated a moment, pretending I didn't know that was coming. "Sure. Why wouldn't I want to be there with your mom?"

"It isn't that. It's just that I think it would make things on Christmas Day go over a lot more smoothly if we gave it a trial run first since you two haven't been on the best of terms lately."

"Oh, now come on," I urged. "Things have been a lot better recently. We've even worked on a couple of stories together."

"I know, but when you two are alone together for any length of time, things kind of start to get messy."

At that moment, thanks to the irresistible pull Lois had always had on me, my eyes were immediately drawn to her only to find that she was lying on the bed yawning and stretching and looking like the cat that ate the cream. The fabric of her thin camisole did little to mask the fullness of her breasts or the gloriously feminine curves of her body. "Yeah, messy," I mumbled back, unaware of what I was saying.

"I just don't want things to go badly at Christmas this year for Eric's sake."

I snapped out of my lusty thoughts and focused back on the conversation at hand. "Look, Jason," I sighed, steadying my voice, "you don't have to worry about that. I promise you, Lois and I will be fine. We wouldn't do anything that would upset Eric."

"That's what Mom said."

"Well, she's right."

Lois arched an eyebrow at me and smiled.

"She's right a lot of the time, actually," I said, smiling back at her.

"Still," Jason said, not entirely convinced, "will you be here tomorrow around ten?"

"Of course."

"And um…" he hesitated. "Do you think you could bring some of those pastries like you did for Kate's birthday?"

I chuckled, knowing that he wouldn't be asking me to dart off to France for pastries unless Kate insisted. "She liked those, did she?"

"Yeah, she did. Could you bring about a dozen?"

"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay. Thanks."

"I love you," I said quickly before he could hang up.

He paused a moment. "I know."

I turned off the phone and stared at Lois for a moment. "He's going to kill us for not telling him."

"No, he won't," she argued.

"You don't know, Lois." Tossing the phone aside, I headed to the bed and began a slow crawl up to the mess of pillows where I proceeded to flop down on my stomach. "You don't know how hard I have fought to get this far with him."

She slid down to lie next to me. "It will be all right, Clark."

I hugged the pillow to me. "Things were fine with you and then a disaster with him. So, I work things out with him only to have everything fall apart with you. Now I'm faced with the miracle of having you back in my life the way I've always dreamed and I risk losing Jason again."

"That's not going to happen," she assured. "Jason loves you."

I could only blink in reply.

"No matter how many times he would insist that he didn't love you, I know that deep down he did…he does. He loves you, and he's mature enough to realize that two people with as much chemistry and attraction as you and I have can't stay apart forever." She grinned wickedly at me and played with a few strands of my bangs.

"I guess I just want the same thing that Jason wants," I said.

"What do you mean?"

"I want a perfect Christmas. I want a big tree and lots of gifts. I want a glazed ham and potatoes and gingerbread cookies. I want you and Jason and Kate and Eric all happy. I want all the things that I never thought I could have – like out of a picture book."

"And we can have that," she said. "Except for the ham. I've never liked glazed ham very much. Too sweet."

I rolled my eyes. "How about the part where our son storms off because he's angry at us for not telling him right away that we were together again."

"A minor detail."

I groaned and buried my face in the pillow.

She sat up. "Clark, you have to loosen up. You are way too stressed out about everything."

I glared at her. "_I_ stress out about things?"

"Okay, so I can get a bit testy when it comes to a story, but right now I don't think you should be all that worried."

"And why is that?" I asked, rolling over to look up at her.

"Because I'm here, and I love you. This time when we talk to Jason, we'll do it together. We'll back each other up. It's something we should have done a long time ago. I don't know if we've ever really talked to him together, and that is probably where we went wrong." She smiled softly. "So, perk up. I want to see the goofy, mild-mannered reporter who secretly saves the world… not Ebenezer Scrooge."

I looked at her, taking in the way her hair fell over her shoulders and how her dark eyes seemed to absorb the light. "You're so beautiful."

She blushed and lowered her eyes away from mine.

"Did you just…?" I propped myself up on my elbow to get a better look at her, not believing what I'd just seen. "Did you just bat your eyes at me like some shy schoolgirl?"

"Hey!" Her mouth fell open defensively. "I dare any woman to not turn into a pile of feminine goo at the sight of Superman lying on her bed shirtless telling her that she's beautiful. Forgive me if I have an occasional girly moment."

I couldn't resist her for a moment longer. I pulled her down to me and crushed my mouth against hers. She responded instantly, sighing and wrapping her limbs around my body. I rolled her over, never breaking away, and poured all the love I held for her into that kiss.

She purred when the kiss ended. "Now that's more like it!"

"Sorry, I just had to kiss you. You looked so sexy."

"Wow," she grinned. "First a cuss word and now you're talking sexy."

I grinned. "Well, I'm not a saint, you know."

"Thank God for that!" She kissed me again just as thoroughly as before.

"Lois," I mumbled against her mouth.

She arched against me. "Don't talk."

"But we need to decide—"

"We need to make love."

"Lois," I broke away from her. "I can't do this until we decide what we're going to say to Jason."

She groaned and wrapped her fingers around my neck. "Clark!! I could just strangle you sometimes! Will you cut it out already?"

"But—"

"No, no buts." Her eyes were intense. "We will go over there tomorrow and explain as calmly as we can that we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together. Simple as that."

"But do we go together or one at a time?"

She rolled her eyes and sat up. "Okay. Let's get the play-by-play over with so we can get on with the show. We shouldn't show up together, that's too obvious. I will go first because I am better at keeping calm in a situation like this than you are."

I gave her a pointed look.

"I'll be calm, I promise. Then you show up. We all sit down to talk. Jason asks us how we are doing and we tell him we are in love. Okay?"

It was naïve to think it would go so smoothly, but I didn't have the heart to argue with Lois at the moment. When it came to Jason, I could never be too careful. I figured I would always be walking on eggshells around him, but I would gladly do it if it meant being invited over for dinner more often. I would do it if it meant being able to spend Christmas with him and Lois at the same time. I longed for that – for us to be all together as a real family. I only hoped that Jason wouldn't react badly to our news.

I held on to that hope for the rest of the day as I spent the time with Lois, chatting and looking at photo albums and just being together as I'd always wished we could be. It was so wonderful to be with her and know I could touch her and kiss her any time I wanted, and know that she wanted me to touch her and kiss her. That she wanted to touch and kiss me in return. We talked about everything and nothing, and by the end of the day, Lois did something she hadn't done in years – she fell asleep before ten o'clock.

Once I was certain she was soundly asleep, I quietly slid out of the bed and got dressed. Then, in record time, I flew to my apartment to get Jason's Christmas present and headed back to Lois' house. I didn't want to run the risk of having her wake up to find me gone again, so I wanted to be as close by as possible.

Carefully, I wrapped Jason's gift, tied it with a bow, and took out a piece of card stock for the letter. With the gift sitting next to me, I wrote:

Jason –

If you are reading this then I've failed to keep my promise to you and have upset you once again. It was never my intention to upset you in any way by loving your mother. I love you both so very much and want both of you in my life for always. I can understand why you are angry with me, and I will continue to apologize until the time comes when you can again trust me. Hopefully it won't be too long. It's my greatest wish that your life be a steady one and that I can play some part in it. Until then, I hope that this gift will serve as a reminder that I will be here for you when you need me.

I paused before signing the letter, considering what name to use. Even though it made my heart race to do so, I went with my gut instinct and wrote what I'd always wanted to write.

Dad.

Tucking the gift and the card under the tree until morning, I headed back into the bedroom where Lois slept peacefully. I undressed and joined her under the covers. Immediately, she curved her body around mine and fitted herself up against me snuggly. I smiled, completely lost in thought.

Lois was asleep in my arms. Lois Lane – the woman I have loved and dreamed of for the majority of my life – was lying naked against me as she slept. Lois "Mad-dog" Lane had agreed to be my wife. Come morning we would tell our son that we were going to be married. Until then, everything was perfect.


End file.
